This morning I had one of those moments that can lead to disaster. Fatal disaster. It’s the stuff that horror stories are made from.

My husband took my son to Vacation Bible School at our church and I was taking the baby to daycare.

A Different Routine.

While driving down the street, I saw one of the neighborhood moms trying to get her two toddlers into the car. Her little boy ran into the middle of the street. Immediately, she chased him down, arm outstretched, to grab him. He kept running. He was in the middle of the road by the time she caught him and brought him back to the sidewalk.

I saw it unfold and stopped my car. I could see the panic on this mother’s face. After they were safe on the side, she waved to me and I slowly drove by.

At the end of the street I was making the decision to turn left or right. I’m alone, I thought for a nano-second, I can turn right and go directly to work. As I start to turn the wheel of the car to the right I realize that the baby is with me. My sweet, non-talking, quiet bundle of joy is in the car with me. Normally my son is asking me a million and one questions by this time in the car ride. The silence made me think I was alone with just my thoughts.

I turned left and drove to school.

Then it hit me, I could have been one of those moms who by being distracted (seeing the child run in the street) and doing something out of the routine (not taking both kids to school), I could have left my baby in the car all day long. Now, like every Mom, I don’t think I would actually have done this, but a nano-second turns into a second, then a minute, then 10 minutes and so on. It can happen to any of us. Let us not fool ourselves.

Take a Look at the Stories 

The other day I was reading the Moms at Work blog and they posted a link to a great, but scary, article about parents who have left kids in cars. Check it out. There is a list of all the media stories where kids have died in cars. It happens more often than you think. They offer tips on how to prevent this from happening. One of which I did today: As I realized that I thought, if even for a nano-second, that I was alone, I threw my purse that contained my work badge and my Blackberry in the back seat. It’s sad to think that we need to put something less important than our child in the backseat to remind us that we are indeed not alone in the car.  While I don’t think we should rely on tips like these as the sole way to prevent leaving a child in the backseat, I am not against them if they help save even one child.

Live In the Moment 

I think the best option is to slow down and be in the moment: Always be present. Don’t let life get too hectic. If your morning routine is getting in the way and leading to distractions then you need a new routine.

• Read the MomLogic story that contains tips about how to prevent this from happening to you.
• Read my original post about this topic: Every Mom’s Nightmare: It Could Happen to You

I’m mortified to have to admit that my 3-month-old baby daughter may have, probably, most very likely, did drink another mother’s breast milk yesterday. Here’s what happened:

Upon picking her up from daycare (I call it school when I like it), I grab her bag with leftover bottles for the day. I usually take four full bottles of breast milk in for the day. She usually drinks three of these, some days four. Never only two. I take the sheet that lists what how much she drank and when she drank it, put it in the bag and head out the door.

Once home I start to unload the bag of bottles and put one in the fridge. This is what I usually do, put ONE in the fridge. This day, however, there were two bottles full of milk. What?

Let’s review:

• I brought 4 full bottles.
• She drank 3 full bottles.
• I came home with 2 FULL BOTTLES!

OMG! What did she drink for one of those three bottles today???

So, this clearly isn’t my fault, except that I’m a mom and moms blame themselves. I’m the one who sends her to daycare. I’m the one who works. I’m the one who should be feeding her. If she didn’t have to get a bottle, there would never, ever be the possibility that she could be given another mother’s milk. It simply couldn’t happen.

I wasn’t intending to write about this, but think that it might help another mother who is dealing with working-mom guilt. Who is punishing herself for sending her child to school (see, I’m trying to turn it around here by saying school). We do what we have to. It’s not our fault. While I am pissed this happened, and I normally don’t say the word pissed on the blog, I don’t think my daughter is going to be harmed by this. I’m going to assume this other mother has perfectly fine and safe breast milk. That she doesn’t do drugs or drink too much alcohol. That she doesn’t have some illness that could possibly be transmitted through her milk. I have to believe this or I’ll go crazy with guilt for not protecting my daughter.

There’s a flip side to this story. What about the mom whose milk my daughter drank? What did her baby get that day? Either one less bottle of precious liquid gold that she lovingly sat and pumped for her baby or nothing. If my milk, that I drained my breasts for my loving daughter, was given to another child I would be just as pissed as I am that my daughter is the one who drank someone else’ milk. It’s a no win situation.

A couple of weeks ago I saw an excellent segment on “Good Morning America” where they talked about our emotional bank accounts. The segment was about the state of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage, but is relevant to every busy parent. You know the feeling — you are drained and feel like you can’t take one more thing being thrown at you.

Nothing Left To Give

As a mom with a newborn and a pre-schooler, there are days when I have nothing left to give. I put my hands up to say, “I’m done,” hand the baby to my husband and go take a shower. I should go sit on the porch with a glass of Chianti, but I still need to multi-task (maybe next time I’ll take the wine into the shower with me). In the shower, I can relax, it’s peaceful to listen to the sound of the water. I dim the lights and put on a candle or some insence. Total sensory immersion going on here. It’s my quiet time. My time to regroup, to relax and get ready for whatever comes next.

I think that any parent will tell you that if you don’t make what I call deposits in our own emotional bank account, you have nothing to draw down on,” said “Good Morning America” parenting contributor Anne Pleshette Murphy.”

Make Time For Mom 

We all need to take the time to put chips into our account. Some moms do this with mom’s nights out. Others by watching TV or doing a hobby, but life too often gets in the way and we don’t take care of ourselves. We skip mom’s night out because we don’t want to be away from the children that we have missed all day because we were at work, or we skip the overnight trip with the girls because we think Dad can’t survive a weekend alone with the kids. We cancel the pedicure appointment out of guilt for spending money on ourselves because your son needs to take karate this summer.

All very real scenarios, and there are a hundred others that we tell ourselves. But, we need to find something do to that reinstates our energy and emotional well being so that we always have enough credits in our emotional bank to give something without going  into deficit.

Here’s some stuff that’s caught my attention lately:

• I’d think this was funnier if I had a teenaged daughter becuase then I might actually know more about who is this guy. (Warning, this song will get stuck in your head.)
• Pixar’s new movie, “UP” is apparently a tear jerker. Anyone with a pre-schooler see it yet? Advice on if I should take my son?
• All my teacher friends are facebooking (I couldn’t give it up for the week, after all) how excited they are about the end of the school year. There are posts about sleeping late, taking naps and summer vacations. Sometimes hard to read when you work in the corporate world and the extent of your summer vacation is only if you have enough vacation time stored up to take a week off. Anyway, here’s a link about the top vacation places for families.
• Speaking of summer, now that school is out, be sure to fit in summer reading time for you and your kids. I’ll try to post a link with some books for adults that I’ve read recently, but here’s a link with a summer reading list for kids.
• I’m reading a lot of tweets about people using EA Sports active. How is it different than the Wii fit?

The other day my son decided that we would be a family of cats.

I’m “Mommy Cat.”

My husband is “Daddy Cat.”

My son is “Buddy Cat.”

His baby sister is “Baby Cat.”

Cute. Meow!

Until last night, we’re eating dinner when he announces we are no longer a family of cats — we are now pigs.

I’m “Mommy Pig.”

My husband is “Daddy Pig.”

My son is “Buddy Pig.”

His baby sister is “Baby Pig.”

I don’t like where this has gone and hope this new declaration has nothing to do with my figure.