Teach Goals or Just Say No?

by Alicia at BalancingMotherhood.com on July 10, 2011

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Today’s “Dear Abby” featured a letter from a reader who explained how she was a single mother when her kids were little. She taught them that they could have whatever they wanted, if they set goals, saved money and had patience.

We didn’t have a lot of money, but we got by. If they asked for something we couldn’t afford, we would discuss it. I’d show them the budget and the bills, and we’d find a way to get what they wanted.”

When they wanted to go to Disney, they lived without cable for two years.

My new husband disagrees with me. We attended a parenting class together and they agreed with him. This doesn’t sit well with me. I feel that just saying “no” is showing them we have the control, but teaches them nothing.”

I like her style of teaching her children to have dreams and showing them how to achieve them. So many times those who have means don’t show our kids where money comes from and that vacations, food, toys, clothes, the house we live in and the beds we sleep in, actually cost money. That we have to work and save our money to buy things.

Do we need to say no to our kids just to teach them they can’t always get what they want?

Dear Abby sided with the mother, saying:

“I disagree with your husband and the person teaching the parenting class. If your children are respectful, happy, willing and ready to work hard and sacrifice to achieve their goals, then you are a successful parent. If your household was harmonious until your husband entered it, you don’t need a parenting class — you need family therapy.”

Read the full letter here.

What do you think?

Photo courtesy stock.xchng.

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