The other night my husband needed to run up to our local CVS drugstore to get something that we couldn’t due without until morning. I don’t recall what the item was — I immediately forgot when he offered to take my son with him on the errand.

*JOY*

**Excitement**

*** 15 minutes of alone time for me! ***

{big smile}

These days, it’s rare that I’m in the house by myself. I can’t remember the last time it happened actually, which is why I got so excited the other night to have those precious few moments of solitude.

Last night I was reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s “Gift from the Sea,” a precious book about Mrs. Lindbergh’s time of solitude on an island in SW Florida more than 50 years ago. The book is timeless, offering gifts of insight and wisdom from her point of view as a wife and mother.

This passage struck me:

Now, instead of planting our solitude with our own dream blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music, chatter and companionship to which we do not even listen. It is simply there to fill the vacuum. When the noise stops there is no inner music to take its place. We must re-learn how to be alone.”

I believe Lindbergh is saying that we are so used to being surrounded by people, children, friends — I’ll add, in this day and age, the Internet, TV, coworkers, teachers, busyness. How do we silence all that goes on in our minds?

I’m sure you’ve tried to be in a peaceful moment, maybe it’s as you close your eyes with your head on the pillow. You slowly quiet down from the day. Then, thoughts and sounds overpower this quiet moment. Did I turn the stove off after dinner? Did I put the wet laundry in the dryer? That conversation I had with my son’s teacher about his performance comes screeching back into my head. Did I say everything I needed to say to her?

We need to learn how to be quiet. As Lindbergh said, “we need to re-learn to be alone.”

Related:

• Get a copy of “Gift from the Sea“

I wish I had some great words of wisdom on this new year’s morning, but I don’t. Typically we come up with a family resolution, but we haven’t done that yet this year. I’ll let you know when we do.

Respect

Last year it was “respect.” Respect things you own, respect others, respect your body, your health. It worked for our possessions. We cared for items we owned much more than in past years. It enabled us to also get rid of items we no longer needed. Clutter and hoarding are such a problem in America that I didnt’ want that for my family. By respecting what we owned, and fessing up when we really didn’t need that set of shell china from my mother in law, helped us give up things we were keeping because we felt obligated. It has made room in our home for things we truly want or need.

Keep It Simple

Keep it simple was our mantra for two years and continues to be something we live by. When presented with two options, which one is simplier? This doesn’t always work, but it has helped us out of jams more times than I can tell you. Last night I was going to make cupcakes for a potluck dinner we were attending. I had the cake mix, but had to do the baking and frosting. Instead, my husband convinced me to just buy some cupcakes from the grocery store. I hesitated, but remembered our keep it simple rule (and some of the stress I inflicted on myself during the holidays) so I bought the cupcakes. Boy, did that feel good.

Whatever your resulution is this year, keep it simple. Don’t create an unrealistic list that sets you up for failure. Our one resolution rule does the trick every year. Wonder what we’ll come up with.

What’s your resolution?

Photo courtesy Stock.xchng

As the last day in 2008 I thought I would recap some of my favorite (and your) posts from the past year (or so). Thanks to all of my readers for providing me with an outlet for information that helps mothers. I’m thankful to have seen my readership grow over the past 12 months and hope it continues into 2009.

Here’s wishing you and your family a great New Year’s Eve tonight!

Some of my favorite posts:

• One Moms Story of Love, Hope and Faith — this is my all time favorite piece because it’s a true story that can inspire all of us to live in the moment.
• Thomas The Tank Engine is Ruining My Night
• Bumbo, My Beloved Bumbo
• Family Yard Day turns into Family Lazy Day
• Observations from My Two-Year-Old

Some of Your favorites:

• Car cake — my post on how I made a cute car cake for my son’s second birthday.
• Five Things You Should Never Do With a Banana
• Outpouring of Assistance for Inspiring Mom Blogger

Photo courtesy gfpeck.

A few months ago I was trolling through Facebook and came across a sorority sister, Susan Ling, with whom I’d lost contact. In college, we lived in the same dorm, studied the same subject (art), our boyfriends (now husbands) were in the same fraternity. Immediately, I “friended” her. It was good to see her face and see what she’s been up to in the 15+ years since graduation.

Susan’s Facebook profile photo shows a beautiful family photo. Everyone in white shirts. Susan, her husband Tim and a son and daughter. Then, I get to the part where she talks about missing her son. She has an album titled, “my favorite photos,” has the word “cancer” popping up. She writes captions that say, “the last picture I took of Brandon.”

What am I missing?

Then I see it. To the side, Susan has a note: “I made a cookbook. All of the money goes to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at UF and Shands. In Memory of my Son, Brandon, who died in April of 07 at the age of 9 1/2. The cookbooks are $13 plus $2 shipping. Please let me know if you want one.”

All I see is:

Brain tumor.

In memory.

Who died.

Age 9 1/2.

After I read this I can’t stop thinking of it. All day. All night. I think of my son and what I would do if I lost him.

Of course I buy a cookbook. The day it arrives in the mail I was headed out the door with my family to run Saturday errands. I take the cookbook with me to start reading in the car. More of the story prevails in the cookbook.

Cooking for a Cause”

Dedicated to Brandon Joshua Ling

This cookbook is dedicated to my precious Brandon. He was a very special young man. He was very active in helping to raise money for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at Shands Hospital. One of the greatest joys was volunteering at Shands Hospital’s Cancer Center helping and comforting other children. …

He was an inspiration to us all.”

I kept thinking, what can I do to help? I think Susan might be able to help my readers. I email her an idea to talk about Brandon and offer to give information about how people (that’s you) can buy this wonderful cookbook. She agrees to answer my questions, which I’ve posted here. It is my hope that Susan and Brandon’s story will inspire you to:

1. Enjoy and love your children each and every day.
2. Buy a cookbook to support this noble cause and to help other families who are going through what this beautiful little boy (and his family) went through. Every little bit helps.

BALANCING MOTHERHOOD: What do you want people to know most about Brandon?

SUSAN LING: “Brandon loved Jesus! His hero was our Pastor at North Gainesville Baptist Church. Brandon was very outgoing and loved talking to everyone. He loved working at clinic when we had to go in every week for blood work and to see the doctor.

While we waited, Brandon would go around to the rooms and the infusion room and bring the snack cart around to the kids. He would even get them a movie or a book. If a child was getting his/her port accessed, he would sometimes hold their hand and then get them a sticker and a Gatorade. He would talk to them and let them know that he gets it done and that they will be OK.

Brandon had to have seven weeks of radiation two times a day and he never was sedated. Even at the age of five he laid very still for even 20 minutes at a time. On Brandon’s very last radiation treatment, a three-year-old boy came in and was scheduled right after Brandon. The boy was sedated, but the Mom was a wreck. After Brandon was done, he saw how upset the little boy’s Mom was and he grabbed the Mother’s hand and went in the radiation room with them where they set the boy up for radiation and just told the Mom that her son would be OK and that it doesn’t hurt. Then, during the boys treatment, they had to step out of the room, but Brandon stayed with her until her son’s treatment was over. She told me that she had prayed and asked the Lord to help her get through her son’s first treatment and that Brandon had been an answer to her prayers.

When a man (Mr. Bill) in our church was diagnosed with cancer, Brandon was with him when he got his first chemo infusion. Brandon brought him a match box car. Mr. Bill kept that car and when Brandon passed away, Mr. Bill placed the car in his casket. I started to cry when he did that, like I am while I write this. I just miss him so much. My six-year-old daughter saw me crying and she knows I am missing Brandon and she went and got me a tissue and gave me a huge hug. She is a real blessing to me.

Brandon loved to dress up for every event he did. He dressed up in a different costume each day during his radiation treatments. The staff really looked forward to seeing Brandon. At home Brandon would dress like a football player and would play football outside. He loved boxing and would put on his boxer shorts and gloves and box. He was fun and full of life.

It was hard for Brandon to have a lot of friends over or go to school because his counts would get low and he was at a risk for infections. We really tried to make things at home fun for him. He had a four-wheeler to run around the yard, a fake deer in the yard for him to hunt and shoot his bow and arrows at. He swam a lot. It was amazing at all the things he could do while he had so much diseases in his brain and spine. His doctor came over to the house one day and could not believe how well Brandon could swim and how he could swim the length of the pool with one breath. She said that comparing him to his MRI’s it is just not possible. In fact, St. Jude’s would not give us a second opinion on Brandon, even though he lived another four years from that time, but that is a different story.

Brandon’s doctor and I grew up together in Miami — we graduated from high school together. In fact, this past October, we drove down to Miami together and attended our 20th high school reunion. Brandon really touched her life and changed her views on a lot of ways she practices.”

BM: If you could have one more day on Earth with Brandon, how would you spend it?

SUSAN: “The first thing that came to my mind is that I would like to hold him and kiss him on the head and just hear his sweet voice. This is a very tough question to answer. I have thought about it many times. As much as I would love Brandon to come back, even it for only one day, I know that since he is in Heaven and walked the streets of gold, there is no way he would want to come back, he would rather us come and see him. I am ready for that moment any time!

But to answer your question, I know Brandon loved going to the beach and to Disney, or go shopping. I would love to be selfish and hold him all day long. (We took Brandon to Disney a lot, he felt so good about himself when he was there. That is why we spent so much money doing those things for him, that is why I had to go back to work, I don’t know if we will ever get out of this debt, but it was worth every $$$ and picture that I took. I took over 40,000 pictures.)”

BM: What advice do you have for busy parents today?

SUSAN:

• “I think parents get too wrapped up in a “perfect household.” They should take a look at why they are so busy and cut out stuff that is stressing them out and/or their kids. Some parents have their kids in so many activities that it wears on the kids and the parents and they really aren’t spending quality time together, just a lot of running around.
• I think that parents should hug their kids every day and tell them how much they love them.
• I really think reading to your child at least 20 minutes a day not only helps the child with reading skills, but is a bonding time.
• Talk with you child and really get to know them.
• Keep a journal of the funny things they say and do.
• Video tape them doing crazy stuff and also interview them, ask them questions. They love to watch themselves on TV.
• Get a good digital camera and take lots of pictures! I have taken over 40,000. (picture taking is my passion).
• Also I think it is important to put Christ as the center of the family. Find a Bible believing church. I could not get through the loss of Brandon if it were not for the Lord giving us the strength daily. I know I will see Brandon in heaven with Jesus. Brandon loved Jesus and was not ashamed to tell others about Him. When Brandon relapsed, we wanted to get Brandon baptized by water emerson. Our Pastor talked with Brandon and Brandon assured him that he did ask Jesus into his heart, even at the age of five. While we were still talking with Pastor, Tim (Susan’s husband) questioned his faith and wanted to know for sure if he would see Brandon again. Brandon and I got to witness Tim asking the Lord into his heart and confirm his salvation. Our Pastor always asks us Do you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW you are saved! Tim and Brandon got to be baptized together.
• Just love on your kids daily!”

BM: Why a cookbook?

SUSAN: “I decided to make a cookbook because I wanted to help out the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program. This was a great way for those who knew Brandon and prayed for him to be a part of this by donating their favorite recipes. Even though this is not a huge money-making fundraiser, it’s a great way to get awareness in our communities and all over the country. All of the money goes to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program. I really would like to help the families that have to go through this. (I know the financial drain on the wallet! I don’t know if we will ever recover.)

Brandon was very excited about making a cookbook and he had fun during our photo shoot. I took over 100 pictures to get the right one.

Unfortunately Brandon got worse and I put the cookbook on hold and did not finish it until after he died. I wish he could have seen it completed. I dropped everything and laid in bed with him 24/7. I didn’t want to be a way from him for a moment.”

Why Should You Care?

It is my hope that Brandon’s story inspires you to spend quality time with your child. To enjoy the moments as they come. I also encourage you to purchase Susan’s cookbook. It’s would make a wonderful gift for a teacher, babysitter, grandmother, neighbor, or yourself. There are a few great recipes in here that you could make with your own child to create memories together. Plus, best of all, the proceeds benefit the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at Shands Hospital.

Order “Cooking for the Cause”

Cost: $13 plus $2 shipping and handling ($15 total.)

Email: Susan Ling at: sbkling [at] mac [dot] com with your mailing address.

Upon receiving your email, Susan will give you her mailing address to send payment.

Make checks payable to: Pediatric Brain Tumor Program.

Photos courtesy Susan Ling.

“Seven in ten girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members.” (source: Real Girls, Real Pressure report.) This is astonishing. We have to do something about this.

I often get asked why I blog. Several reasons, but mainly because I hope to inspire women to be the best they can be. By inspiring mothers I hope to help enrich their lives, which will, in turn, inspire their children.

Recently, I was contacted and told about the Dove (you know, the soap people) Self-Esteem Fund. Dove’s been doing a great job over the past several years by doing provocative commercials with their campaign for “real beauty” where woman (of all shape, race and size) are shown just as they are in real life. They represent all of us. Now, Dove is helping young girls with self esteem — this is something we can all grab onto to help the next generation grow up to be strong, smart women.

Here are some statistics from a report that was commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.

Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, reveals that there is a self-esteem crisis in this country that pervades every aspect of a girl’s life including her looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members

• 62% of all girls feel insecure or not sure of themselves
• 57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks
• More than half (57%) of all girls say they don’t always tell their parents certain things about them because they don’t want them to think badly of them
• The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them which includes more frequent and more open conversations as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives

Wow. These statistics are powerful. Only three in every 10 girls feels worthy. What is wrong with this picture?

On Dove’s Web site they have set up an area with tools to help parents teach their girls about self esteem. You can view and download several tools to help you start the conversation. Visit the site here.

• “Life Doesn’t Begin 5 Pounds from Now” by Jessica Weiner
• “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters” by Courtney E. Martin
• Dove’s “You’re Beautiful pass it on” T-shirt

Just submit a comment to this blog post. (Be sure to fill in your email address on the comment form so I can contact you if you win. Those without an email address will be disqualified.)

The lucky winner will be randomly selected.

Deadline for submission is 11:59 p.m. Eastern time, Tuesday, Dec. 9, 2008.

Only one entry per person please.

The winner will be announced on the blog after Dec. 9.

Good luck!

Click the comment link below to submit your comment for inclusion in the contest.