I was supposed to be interviewed for a show on Sirius Satellite Radio last Wednesday for a story it is doing on mothers over 35. There was a mix-up in the scheduling and I never got the call. Boo! I did all this research and wore my purple, dangling interview earrings. I know, I know, it’s radio. You won’t be able to see my amazing, chandelier earrings, but they make me feel good. And if I feel good then I thought I would sound good.

Get it?

Radio — needs to sound good.

And, all of this is not to mention how I mentally reviewed the last 16 or so years of my life and how my choices have affected my life. Now I have no where to put this information that’s still tossing around in my head keeping me up at night. Not that I need anything else to keep me up at night — two kids with massive ear infections crying (make that SCREAMING) out in pain at 3:00 a.m. every night just isn’t enough for me. I need to have *thoughts* keeping me awake at night too.

In preparation for the interview, I read the “Washington Post” story, “More children are being born to women over 35 than to teens, Pew study finds.” Good, I say. Good, good. I also read the Pew study which goes into great detail about the survey it conducted.

What I take from it is that women are choosing when they have kids. I for one, had no interest in having a baby when I was in my 20s. (Here come the thoughts streaming around in my head.) The mere thought of it terrified me. To death. Ask my friends, they’ll tell you. I think some of them thought I’d never have kids. I was married for 12 years before we had a child. I think it actually shocked some of my friends.

It’s not that I didn’t want kids. Not at all. Quite the opposite. I always new that I wanted to have a family. To be a mother was a welcomed part of my plan. I just wanted to do it on my time.

I’m glad we waited.

My 20s were filled with career development, freedom, an open schedule, dates, and travel, travel, travel. Wish I could have done more traveling. I didn’t want to wait until my kids were in college to do all that I was able to experience in my 20s. Now that that is behind me I have no thirsting desires (well, maybe to be able to travel again). I know that I did it, I lived it and now is my time to experience things with my babies. To watch them grow, to play with them, to stay home on Saturday night because we’re so tired that even if we didn’t have kids we’d still be going to bed early just to sleep.

I’m also glad we didn’t wait any longer.

There is a risk in waiting to have children. There is a true biological clock that prevents many of us from bearing children because we waited too long. It’s heartbreaking to see it happen: loving, deserving women, not able to conceive naturally — or at all.

And, there’s the extra medical “attention” you get as an “older mother” from the “specialist.” There’s the genetic counseling, and tons of tests. It’s nerve racking to be an older mother and have the added worry that something might go wrong with your pregnancy, or be a health issue to your child — all because of your age.

I had my first baby at age 34 and my second, last year, at age 37. They seem like the perfect ages to me, but if I had to do it again I might have started two years earlier. It would have given me more opportunity to get both children in before I hit 35 (thus, avoiding all those extra tests and worry.) And, I would have more room to have more children, should I choose, before I hit 40.

Then, there’s the news that Kelly Preston, wife of John Travolta, is 3-months pregnant at age 47. This gives women hope, but I hope it doesn’t make too many women who are contemplating a family wait longer. Just because Preston was able to conceive into her late 40s doesn’t mean you will be able to also. Remember, it’s a risk to wait.

What do you think about the trend moving to women over 35?

Related:

• Read the full “Washington Post” article
• The Pew Study summary from the Pew Research Center
• The Pew Study, full report (PDF)
• Kelly Preston Pregnant at Age 47 announcement
• CNN’s “Pregnant at 47: Can I do that?” article

Katherine Heigl, who plays Izzy Stephens on “Grey’s Anatomy,” is leaving the show (getting out of her contract early) so that she doesn’t have to work full-time. Something most mothers can understand. An article from “Entertainment Weekly” discusses her decision:

I started a family and it changed everything for me,” Katherine, who took a three-month leave from “Grey’s” this year to spend more time with her newly-adopted daughter, explained. “It changed my desire to work full-time.”

Something most mothers can understand

Heigl’s desire to spend more time with her new daughter is something that I think all mothers go through.  The new baby arrives home for the first time and you just can’t imagine parting. Even mothers who have strong desires to return to work after having a child, must still have this feeling of wanting to spend every minute with that precious being. Yes, many choose to, and some, have to, return to work.

Although one could argue that Heigl doesn’t need to work because she’s got the fame and she must have the money. Although, I’d say that it was probably a difficult decision to leave behind a role that got her noticed. She won an Emmy for playing Izzy and has garnered several leading roles in films as a result of the show. Leaving this behind right now must have been a difficult decision — even if the outcome is spending more time with her family.

It just goes to show that motherhood changes you. It makes you contemplate every decision. No matter if you decide to stay home or to work, what once seemed important may no longer be as high on the list.

What do you think about her decision to leave the show?

Big changes are coming to my morning wake up call: “Good Morning America” is completely changing it’s line up of television anchors. TV news veteran Diane Sawyer is moving to the evening news to be only the second-ever solo female anchor of the evening news. This is exciting for Diane and for women. It means women will outnumber men on the big three networks for evening news coverage. Among the other changes are that political reporter, George Stephanopoulus, has been named Sawyer’s replacement to co-anchor GMA news with the amazing Robin Roberts.

I’ve loved watching two women co-anchor a major news program. Diane and Robin broke the mold on morning news shows when Charlie Gibson left GMA. It was some serious girl power. That’s changing now.  (Don’t get me started on the exit of Chris Cuomo.) But there is some good news among all this change.

Enter Juju Chang: working mom.

It’s about time. Time for a mother to be a part of the “Good Morning America” main line up. Juju Chang, mother to three, becomes the news anchor starting Monday — she’ll be balancing motherhood in a whole new way and we’ll be watching as she proves that moms can do anything we set our minds to.

A mother hasn’t been a part of the main four anchors in over a decade (since the Joan Lunden days). It’s not that ABC has neglected any stories about mothers and families, but let’s not forget how important it is to have mothers represented in this way. Thanks ABC for making this important decision. I’m excited to have JuJu on the team and welcome her insight into the news and any special reporting she will cover.

Related:

• TV Newser’s Post about Juju’s New Job
• Follow JuJu on Twitter.
• ABC’s story about the new anchor team.

Let’s just say I’d rather be sleeping right now. It doesn’t matter what time of day you are reading this — if you are, and I’m awake, I’d rather be sleeping.

I’m a sleep-deprived mom of two younguns (one is still a baby at a wee 7 months) who keep me busy these days. I realized the other day how much I love sleeping. It is the best feeling in the world to me these days. I’d take it over a box of Godiva chocolates, over front row U2 tickets, pretty much anything right now. I have to work every day so I don’t get a chance for naps. “Getting lucky,” these days means my husband is going to stay up with the kids while I take a nap on the weekend.

People who don’t have kids have no idea what I’m talking about. Long gone are the days of the keg parties (I got invited to one last week and had to laugh), happy hours that turn into happy nights, taking in a 10:00 p.m. movie — heck, even staying up to watch a movie on TV. I’d rather sleep.

I’d better stop writing this … it’s infringing on my sleep time.

Photo courtesy stock.xchng.

My 3 and 1/2 year old son had to undergo a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy and have tubes put in both ears. I did a lot of research online that I found very comforting, frightening and helpful. I decided to document what happened to use to help others who will have to deal with this with their kids. I’m using a simple diary format because I am writing it as I go through each step.

This was our journey.

First Dr. Appointment

We were sent to a specialist, an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor to review my son’s ASTRONOMICALLY HUGE tonsils. I mean, these suckers are B-I-G. The doctor had my son go through a hearing test and to my surprise, he has a 20 decibel hearing loss in both ears. What? Yep, it’s like he has cotton balls in his ears.

Now, I feel like a schmuck.

All those times my son has said, “what?” and I ignored him, or worse — said, “you heard me.” Well, he really didn’t hear me. I though he was just goofing around and not paying attention.

The rest of the appointment only took a few minutes before the doctor said he’d recommend taking them out. Tonsils AND adenoids. And, by the way, we should put tubes in both ears. We went home to process the information, and spend hours on Google to finally make the decision to go forward with the surgery.

Between First Appointment and Pre-Op Appointment

Ordered the book Good-bye Tonsils and began reading it to our son in preparation for the surgery. This book was key to preparing my son (and us) for the surgery. It takes you through each step of the way.

This is when I get nervous and wonder if we’ve made the right decision. All I can think of is that my son is going to have surgery. What if something goes wrong? Did we NEED to do this? I remember the ’70s when everyone had it done. But did they need it? Does he need it?

Then I remember how big his tonsils really are. Oh, and the part about the hearing loss. And, that he doesn’t always sleep very well. These things can get better with the surgery. And, it’s better to have it done as a kid. They heal faster.

Then, I think about the recovery. I read tons online about how hard it is to recover. How badly his throat will hurt. He might throw up. He won’t be able to eat solid food. I picture his frail little body all puny, and hurting. How can I make this better? And, he hasn’t even had the surgery yet. This is what I think of every day.

I start to prepare a list of questions … one of the big ones is: How far can we go with him at the hospital? I’d accompany him into the surgery room if I were allowed. As I come up with questions, I write them down.

Pre-Op Appointment

This is the appointment that makes this real. We are proceeding with surgery on my baby. He’ll undergo anesthesia, and have sharp instruments put in his tiny mouth and head in order to remove his tonsils and adenoids and also to put in tubes in both ears.

We were met by a clinician who went over the entire procedure. Everything from what time to get there, to how long we could stay and what to expect afterward. He gave us all the paperwork with all the information we’d need to prepare for a long weekend of doing nothing except making our son comfortable, making sure he drinks a lot of fluids and takes his pain medication.

I brought my list of questions and all were answered:

• Can we be with him until he goes into surgery? Yes
• Can he bring a stuffed animal or blanket? Yes
• How long does it take? 30 minutes
• Will he get an IV? Yes

This appointment made me feel better. I’m not certain why … might just be that now I know what to expect. The doctor told me he’s done thousands of these surgeries before. “Thousands,” I repeat in my head. I can’t think of much that I’ve done a thousand times. This makes me feel better. He knows what he’s doing. He has a pleasant, reassuring nod as he’s telling me it will be OK.

Tomorrow we will have a nice, big dinner, then no food after midnight. No breakfast Friday morning. Nothing to drink either. This will be fun. My son likes routine. He likes getting something to drink first thing in the morning. Then, have his breakfast. We have to be at the surgery center at 6:00 a.m. so I’m hoping this will help — figuring he’ll be so tired that he won’t miss not eating.

Eve of Surgery

Now I’m wondering what his voice will sound like. I’ve been reading, and people have been telling me their stories, how their kid’s voice sounds very different. We were told this in the pre-op appointment too. I love my buddy bear’s little child voice. I love hearing him talk. It’s the cutest sound in the world. What will he sound like after the surgery? I worry about this.

We read “Good-bye Tonsils” one last time and get a cake like they did in the book. My son really loved this part and I think it helped us all prepare for tomorrow.

Surgery Day

We had to arrive at the surgery center by 6:00 a.m. for a 7:30 a.m. surgery slot. My son was ready.

After paperwork and the routine stuff for a doctor or hospital visit, they brought us back where we met the anesthesiologist. He reviewed how the medicine would work and what to expect. Before my son was given that, they gave him some medicine that made him very dopey. It was like he was drunk — couldn’t sit up, wobbly, slurring words, laughing. This meant he was ready to go to the operating room and get the anesthesia, IV and have the surgery.

Time to say good bye. We gave him kisses, but by this point he was out of it and didn’t really know what was going on.

My husband and I waited in the waiting room. Thirty-five minutes later the Dr. said the surgery went well and that we’d be able to go see our son in about 15 minutes.

We were brought into the “recovery room” to meet my son as he woke up .

This next part I have thought long and hard about whether or not to include. I decided to include it because I realize that I wish I had known more of what to expect. That I could have been better prepared emotionally. If you don’t want the details, just skip to Post-Op (Day One.)

They call this the “delirium stage,” and frankly, I wasn’t prepared. His face was swollen, his eyelids were red and puffy and he couldn’t open them. This scared him and made him cry and lurch around frantically. He kept trying to yank the IV from his arm. “This stage lasts 30 minutes to 1 hour,” the nurse explained to us.

I just ran my fingers through his hair, told him I loved him, that I was here, Daddy was here. We love him. He’s doing such a good job. We’re here, honey. It’s OK, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy are right here. We’re in the recovery room and it’s alright. You’ll start to feel better soon. I know you can’t see very good right now, but I know you can hear me and we’re right here. Mommy and Daddy are here.

We just kept talking to him. The nurse said it helps. Then, she said she could give him a tiny dose of morphine (I think that’s what it was, honestly it was hard to remember everything as my heart was breaking) if we thought he needed it. I just gave her what I call my mom look, nodding without moving my head, and she gave him the medicine. Then my husband picked him up and held him. He fell asleep for 30 minutes. When he woke up, he was fine. Tired, but fine. He was alert (groggy, but he knew what was going on now) and wanted to lie down.

They gave him a Popsicle which he ate, and then we were able to take him home.

Just before we were leaving, the nurse asked me if we’d talked to him about the surgery. I said, “Oh yeah — we even read a book about it.” She said she could tell. Some parents tell the kids nothing and I guess it’s hell in the recovery room (even worse than what we experienced, which I can’t imagine). I’m so glad we did prepare him for it by explaining it from beginning to end. I believe kids need to know what’s going on. Every time we’ve been in a situation that could be frightening or new, I tell him what to expect and it helps him relate and not be afraid. It also builds trust for situations like today where I *need* him to believe me. I know that he believes me when I was telling him I was there in the recover room with him. He knew I would help him.

Post Op (Day One)

We arrived home within two hours of the surgery. Once home, he slept on the sofa. We woke him for his first dose of medicine and to get something to drink. We also offered him a Popsicle, all of which he complied. He only sipped drinks for the next few hours, and didn’t really want much in the way of food, but we kept offering it every couple hours.

We also noted when he went to the bathroom. Drinking fluids and urinating are key to know he’s not dehydrated. And, fluids are key to recovery.

He slept on and off while watching TV all day long.

4:00 p.m. He was asking for dinner so I gave him some baby food (baby mac and cheese) since I didn’t know what he could handle. Mac and cheese is one of his favorites so I figured he’d try it. He took three bites and said he was done.  That was fine by me.

7:00 p.m. He was hungry again so we gave him small amounts applesauce, cottage cheese and ice cream. He ate all three and asked for more of each. It turned out to be a good dinner.

8:00 p.m. Another dose of medicine to keep on the four-hour schedule to stay on ahead of the pain and off to bed. We’ll be waking him at midnight and 4:00 for more medicine.

The hardest part about surgery day is the first hour after surgery. The good news is that it’s over quickly. It’s just gut-wrenching to see your child in any amount of discomfort — physical or emotional. This is the part of the day where you may cry. I would recommend not doing this alone. Make sure your spouse or a friend is with you. You’ll need the emotional support of each other so that you both can be 100 percent present for your child.

Day 2

I was unsure how today would go, but it’s been great. We dispensed medicine every 4-5 hours, even through last night. I convinced him to take two large squirts of the medicine instead of several small ones. We let him sip juice in between each sip of medicine.

Overall, he was pretty normal today, even wanting to jump around. We did a lot of indoor activities like watching TV and a movie. He didn’t eat a lot, but did manage to get some food in him — cottage cheese is a big hit as is apple sauce. And, of course, ice cream and Popsicles are popular.

Last night and tonight we told him what to expect the next day: That his throat is still going to hurt and that he is going to have to take medicine. This helps him know what is coming. I feel like since we told him this last night he didn’t wake up surprised this morning when his throat still hurt.

His voice is definitely different, although this was the last of what I should have been worrying about the other day. It is like a tiny child’s voice. Very sweet and innocent.

Tomorrow is the last of the days when they say it could be worse instead of better. We’ll see what it brings.

Day 3

We controlled the pain with medicine and he did fine all day. He was still very tired, but was acting normal.

One Week

He’s says that his throat hurts still a bit.

Ten Days

Doing well. Back to school. He came home today saying that he sounds like a girl. This concerns me. He says that no one told him that, but I doubt he’d come up with it on his own. Saddens me, but each day his voice gets a tiny bit back to normal.

We are still having him eat only soft foods, but I think his appetite is getting back to normal. Although, he has lost a lot of weight. It is just now that he seems to want to eat more.

Two Weeks

Things are back to normal at our house. You’d never know that two weeks ago I was in agony watching my baby boy go through surgery and see him in pain. We had a follow-up appointment and his  hearing is normal, which is worth the trying time we endured.

Advice

• Tell your child what is going to happen. Talk about it. Prepare him/her by explaining in detail what you all are going to do.
• Read books about getting your tonsils out. We loved “Good-Bye Tonsils.”
• Plan to do nothing for 3-4 days, just staying at home. After a few days you can go out and about as long as there isn’t any physical activity.
• Plan for your child to be out of school for a full week. Since we did the surgery on a Friday, I thought he would be going back to school by Wednesday, but he was still really tired and his throat hurt too much to return to school that quickly.
• Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids, even if it’s only a few sips at a time.
• Make sure your child takes the pain medication as prescribed. We gave it through the night for several days, but could have not done that after the first or second night.