Jan
19
2010
Heidi Montag before her recent, multiple surgeries.
The other day I was trolling the Internet and came to People.com and its recent cover story on the young Heidi Montag’s multiple surgeries (1o procedures in one day)– at age 23. She’s on the cover looking fabulous as any cover model would. The problem I have is that it glamorizes what she’s done. I’m afraid that when young girls and women see this they’ll think it’s what you have to do to be beautiful.
At least Montag’s “The Hill’s” co-star is standing up for girls everywhere. In an short article on People.com titled, “Costar: Heidi’s Surgeries Send Wrong Message,” Lo Bosworth says that Montag went too far:
“I hope that girls don’t read the article, look at the decisions that Heidi made, and think that’s normal,” Bosworth tells PEOPLE.”
I’m glad to that the magazine ran this front and center on its Web site to counter the, still front and center, current cover featuring Montag.
ABC’s JuJu Chang interviewed Montag about the article and all the controversy is has brought. In the piece Montag says her message is that beauty comes from within, but that’s far from the message she is sending. Later in the interview she says that she had plastic surgery because of the industry she is in, thus proving my point that when young girls see famous people do things like this they come to believe that it is necessary to succeed. It’s sad to think that she didn’t see her own beauty before she got these unnecessary procedures so early in life.
If Heidi Montag wants to get multiple plastic surgeries at age 23 I can’t stop that. I just hope that her teen worshipers don’t think this is what you have to do to be beautiful.
Robin Roberts points out that Montag’s new album is titled, “Superficial.” Nuf said.
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Dec
28
2009
Social media is all around us. It seems that everyone is tweeting, blogging and Facebooking their life these days. Earlier this year, my husband took a 30-day break from Facebook. What a great idea that turned out to be — for both of us. Made me realize how often I was checking Facebook for updates. I followed his lead and set limits on how much I could use Facebook in any given day. It changed the way I use the site now. I no longer feel compelled to “check in” on my friends. I can go when I have time, not all the time.
What about for kids?
How hard would it be for a teenager to quit Facebook for a month? It’s hard enough for adults to set limits, but add in peer pressure and it’s gotta double the challenge. “Good Morning America” ran a spot about how some teens are absolutely addicted to social media. One girl who was featured, used the site as many as six hours on a weekend. It was causing fights with her mother and her grades were slipping.
What’s a parent to do?
We must help our teenagers and young children know and understand the Internet. It’s not just social media.
According to the article:
Sherry Turkle, a professor of psychology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said people are now dropping in and out of Facebook, and learning how to integrate it into their lives in better ways.
“We’re not going to be taking away the Internet,” she said. “It’s more a question of living with these devices that so compel us, in a way that serves our human purposes.”
Teaching them and giving them a greater understanding of the how’s and why’s will prepare them for life with technology outside the home. It’s not going away, so we need to give them tools to use to use it properly.
Read the full story to learn about how to determine if your teen is addicted or just spending too much time online and to get tips on how to help him/her live a more balanced life.
Photo courtesy stock.xchng by lusi.
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Oct
15
2009
On “The Oprah Winfrey Show” today, Taylor Swift said she doesn’t need a boyfriend. She was interviewed by the sweet, 11-year-old Jordan (a big Taylor Swift fan), Oprah’s “co-host” for the show. Jordan asked Taylor if she has a big crush right now and Taylor responded by saying that she doesn’t have a boyfriend and doesn’t feel the *need* to have one. She explained that she’d rather be single than in a relationship just to be in one.
How refreshing.
As a parent, and now to a girl, it’s great to hear. It’s especially important coming from a young woman that so many tween and teen girls admire. Taylor is beautiful, talented and rich. Any man would want to date her, yet she’s choosing to fill her life with other things, saying she’d make room for a relationship if the right man came along.
It’s great for 11-year-old girls to hear. Too often I see women, not just girls, dive into relationships that are wrong. They are always in a relationship, moving from one boyfriend to the next without taking a break just to “be.”
Last year I wrote a post inspired by the people at Dove who continue to promote the importance of teaching a sense of self esteem in girls. They said, “only three in every 10 girls feels worthy.” Wow. It’s important to teach girls, from a young age, how important they are. They don’t need a boy or a man to feel worthy. That while being in a relationship can be a great thing, it shouldn’t be the only thing in your life.
Maybe Taylor will inspire young girls to have confidence in themselves and to be comfortable with who they are — boyfriend or not. If it’s cool for a pop star like her to be single, maybe other girls will not put so much emphasis on whether or not they have a boyfriend. We need to shift the focus on needing a boyfriend, to wanting one if it allows them to continue to be who they are. And, that if they don’t have a boyfriend, they are OK.
Apr
15
2009
One of the episode’s of Oprah last week was about talking to your kids about sex. What is the best age to start talking about the “mechanics of sex”? The emotional part of sex? Self stimulation? Masturbation? Even … vibrators?
It was an eye-opening episode for sure. Dr. Laura Berman (a sex therapist, who also has a twin sister who is an MD), says that we should start doing this when they are young. On the show, she walked an embarrassed mother through the mechanics of sex conversation, using print outs of the female and male genitalia (available for download on Oprah.com). The daughter was 10.
Dr. Berman says that 10 is not too young for this conversation, and that by the time the kids are in middle school we should have had this first conversation so that we can begin to have the other parts of the continuing conversation as they age.
She even suggests we tell our daughters about the possibility of using vibrators around the age of 15 or 16. As you can image, this caused quite a stir in the audience.
Kids today are sexting on their cell phones and talking (even engaging) in sexual conversations and acts at very young ages. I’m grateful that the Oprah show decided to expose this to us so we can prepare our children (boys included).
This Thursday, the conversation continues on Oprah — what to do if your child tells you he/she is ready to have sex.
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