A few months ago I was trolling through Facebook and came across a sorority sister, Susan Ling, with whom I’d lost contact. In college, we lived in the same dorm, studied the same subject (art), our boyfriends (now husbands) were in the same fraternity. Immediately, I “friended” her. It was good to see her face and see what she’s been up to in the 15+ years since graduation.

Susan’s Facebook profile photo shows a beautiful family photo. Everyone in white shirts. Susan, her husband Tim and a son and daughter. Then, I get to the part where she talks about missing her son. She has an album titled, “my favorite photos,” has the word “cancer” popping up. She writes captions that say, “the last picture I took of Brandon.”

What am I missing?

Then I see it. To the side, Susan has a note: “I made a cookbook. All of the money goes to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at UF and Shands. In Memory of my Son, Brandon, who died in April of 07 at the age of 9 1/2. The cookbooks are $13 plus $2 shipping. Please let me know if you want one.”

All I see is:

Brain tumor.

In memory.

Who died.

Age 9 1/2.

After I read this I can’t stop thinking of it. All day. All night. I think of my son and what I would do if I lost him.

Of course I buy a cookbook. The day it arrives in the mail I was headed out the door with my family to run Saturday errands. I take the cookbook with me to start reading in the car. More of the story prevails in the cookbook.

Cooking for a Cause”

Dedicated to Brandon Joshua Ling

This cookbook is dedicated to my precious Brandon. He was a very special young man. He was very active in helping to raise money for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at Shands Hospital. One of the greatest joys was volunteering at Shands Hospital’s Cancer Center helping and comforting other children. …

He was an inspiration to us all.”

I kept thinking, what can I do to help? I think Susan might be able to help my readers. I email her an idea to talk about Brandon and offer to give information about how people (that’s you) can buy this wonderful cookbook. She agrees to answer my questions, which I’ve posted here. It is my hope that Susan and Brandon’s story will inspire you to:

1. Enjoy and love your children each and every day.
2. Buy a cookbook to support this noble cause and to help other families who are going through what this beautiful little boy (and his family) went through. Every little bit helps.

BALANCING MOTHERHOOD: What do you want people to know most about Brandon?

SUSAN LING: “Brandon loved Jesus! His hero was our Pastor at North Gainesville Baptist Church. Brandon was very outgoing and loved talking to everyone. He loved working at clinic when we had to go in every week for blood work and to see the doctor.

While we waited, Brandon would go around to the rooms and the infusion room and bring the snack cart around to the kids. He would even get them a movie or a book. If a child was getting his/her port accessed, he would sometimes hold their hand and then get them a sticker and a Gatorade. He would talk to them and let them know that he gets it done and that they will be OK.

Brandon had to have seven weeks of radiation two times a day and he never was sedated. Even at the age of five he laid very still for even 20 minutes at a time. On Brandon’s very last radiation treatment, a three-year-old boy came in and was scheduled right after Brandon. The boy was sedated, but the Mom was a wreck. After Brandon was done, he saw how upset the little boy’s Mom was and he grabbed the Mother’s hand and went in the radiation room with them where they set the boy up for radiation and just told the Mom that her son would be OK and that it doesn’t hurt. Then, during the boys treatment, they had to step out of the room, but Brandon stayed with her until her son’s treatment was over. She told me that she had prayed and asked the Lord to help her get through her son’s first treatment and that Brandon had been an answer to her prayers.

When a man (Mr. Bill) in our church was diagnosed with cancer, Brandon was with him when he got his first chemo infusion. Brandon brought him a match box car. Mr. Bill kept that car and when Brandon passed away, Mr. Bill placed the car in his casket. I started to cry when he did that, like I am while I write this. I just miss him so much. My six-year-old daughter saw me crying and she knows I am missing Brandon and she went and got me a tissue and gave me a huge hug. She is a real blessing to me.

Brandon loved to dress up for every event he did. He dressed up in a different costume each day during his radiation treatments. The staff really looked forward to seeing Brandon. At home Brandon would dress like a football player and would play football outside. He loved boxing and would put on his boxer shorts and gloves and box. He was fun and full of life.

It was hard for Brandon to have a lot of friends over or go to school because his counts would get low and he was at a risk for infections. We really tried to make things at home fun for him. He had a four-wheeler to run around the yard, a fake deer in the yard for him to hunt and shoot his bow and arrows at. He swam a lot. It was amazing at all the things he could do while he had so much diseases in his brain and spine. His doctor came over to the house one day and could not believe how well Brandon could swim and how he could swim the length of the pool with one breath. She said that comparing him to his MRI’s it is just not possible. In fact, St. Jude’s would not give us a second opinion on Brandon, even though he lived another four years from that time, but that is a different story.

Brandon’s doctor and I grew up together in Miami — we graduated from high school together. In fact, this past October, we drove down to Miami together and attended our 20th high school reunion. Brandon really touched her life and changed her views on a lot of ways she practices.”

BM: If you could have one more day on Earth with Brandon, how would you spend it?

SUSAN: “The first thing that came to my mind is that I would like to hold him and kiss him on the head and just hear his sweet voice. This is a very tough question to answer. I have thought about it many times. As much as I would love Brandon to come back, even it for only one day, I know that since he is in Heaven and walked the streets of gold, there is no way he would want to come back, he would rather us come and see him. I am ready for that moment any time!

But to answer your question, I know Brandon loved going to the beach and to Disney, or go shopping. I would love to be selfish and hold him all day long. (We took Brandon to Disney a lot, he felt so good about himself when he was there. That is why we spent so much money doing those things for him, that is why I had to go back to work, I don’t know if we will ever get out of this debt, but it was worth every $$$ and picture that I took. I took over 40,000 pictures.)”

BM: What advice do you have for busy parents today?

SUSAN:

• “I think parents get too wrapped up in a “perfect household.” They should take a look at why they are so busy and cut out stuff that is stressing them out and/or their kids. Some parents have their kids in so many activities that it wears on the kids and the parents and they really aren’t spending quality time together, just a lot of running around.
• I think that parents should hug their kids every day and tell them how much they love them.
• I really think reading to your child at least 20 minutes a day not only helps the child with reading skills, but is a bonding time.
• Talk with you child and really get to know them.
• Keep a journal of the funny things they say and do.
• Video tape them doing crazy stuff and also interview them, ask them questions. They love to watch themselves on TV.
• Get a good digital camera and take lots of pictures! I have taken over 40,000. (picture taking is my passion).
• Also I think it is important to put Christ as the center of the family. Find a Bible believing church. I could not get through the loss of Brandon if it were not for the Lord giving us the strength daily. I know I will see Brandon in heaven with Jesus. Brandon loved Jesus and was not ashamed to tell others about Him. When Brandon relapsed, we wanted to get Brandon baptized by water emerson. Our Pastor talked with Brandon and Brandon assured him that he did ask Jesus into his heart, even at the age of five. While we were still talking with Pastor, Tim (Susan’s husband) questioned his faith and wanted to know for sure if he would see Brandon again. Brandon and I got to witness Tim asking the Lord into his heart and confirm his salvation. Our Pastor always asks us Do you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW you are saved! Tim and Brandon got to be baptized together.
• Just love on your kids daily!”

BM: Why a cookbook?

SUSAN: “I decided to make a cookbook because I wanted to help out the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program. This was a great way for those who knew Brandon and prayed for him to be a part of this by donating their favorite recipes. Even though this is not a huge money-making fundraiser, it’s a great way to get awareness in our communities and all over the country. All of the money goes to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program. I really would like to help the families that have to go through this. (I know the financial drain on the wallet! I don’t know if we will ever recover.)

Brandon was very excited about making a cookbook and he had fun during our photo shoot. I took over 100 pictures to get the right one.

Unfortunately Brandon got worse and I put the cookbook on hold and did not finish it until after he died. I wish he could have seen it completed. I dropped everything and laid in bed with him 24/7. I didn’t want to be a way from him for a moment.”

Why Should You Care?

It is my hope that Brandon’s story inspires you to spend quality time with your child. To enjoy the moments as they come. I also encourage you to purchase Susan’s cookbook. It’s would make a wonderful gift for a teacher, babysitter, grandmother, neighbor, or yourself. There are a few great recipes in here that you could make with your own child to create memories together. Plus, best of all, the proceeds benefit the Pediatric Brain Tumor Program at Shands Hospital.

Order “Cooking for the Cause”

Cost: $13 plus $2 shipping and handling ($15 total.)

Email: Susan Ling at: sbkling [at] mac [dot] com with your mailing address.

Upon receiving your email, Susan will give you her mailing address to send payment.

Make checks payable to: Pediatric Brain Tumor Program.

Photos courtesy Susan Ling.

I was flipping through the September issue of “O” magazine last night and read Oprah’s “What I Know For Sure” column. What a great read this always is. It reminds me that even she is human and struggles with issues like being overwhelmed.

This month she writes that she was working so much and trying to find a President for her new TV network as well as a new Head for her school in Africa. Nothing was working. Then, she:

pulled out my gratitude journal, in which I’d been too tired to write even a sentence for months. … I took a few deep breaths. I said “Thank you” out loud.

And I wrote in my journal: “I am grateful for my breath and the recognition that I am here, alive. Breathing. I am grateful for life. And for this time alone. In this moment, I have to do nothing. Yes, there are many things that need to get done, but in this moment I have to do nothing.”

I sat in silence. I prayed. I meditated. I napped. I filled three more pages with praise and gratitude for all that’s gone right. And stopped giving my attention to what wasn’t working …

The next day, I found the new head of school. Two days later, a president for OWN.

She took time to step back. To be thankful. And everything came together.

Read Oprah’s full article here. 

While reading through an Entrepreneur magazine a couple of issues ago I came across an interesting product that helps you seal up your food items without having to waste an entire gallon zip-top plastic bag. Instead of putting your entire bag of candy into a large zip-top bag, you simply seal a QuickSeals bag top onto the existing candy bag and zip it up. (See photos below.) And, it’s not just for food. You can use it for crafts, puzzles and other projects too. The best part is that the product was invented by a mom!

Denise Bein is the creator of QuickSeals and a mom of two children: Brooke, 9 and Blake, 8. After reading about her product in the magazine, I emailed her to see if she would answer questions for the Balancing Motherhood readers and she enthusiastically agreed.

I’m sure you’ll learn a lot about how a mom can balance family life, start and run a business and still have fun.

Where did you get the idea for QuickSeals?

Many times in my kitchen I would say, “Why can’t I add a sealable top to items that don’t have built in slider seals already or for those products that I would rip off the existing seal by accident.” Examples of these are: cereals, nuts, snacks, frozen vegetables, cheeses and many other products.

Having a new family, we had many opened products being wasted because of staleness, spillage and infestation which always bothered me. It must stem from my frugal childhood.

During a family vacation, seeing many un-sealable food products opened and now wanting to bring them home with me in my suitcase created a problem. Knowing many of the extra large items such as the pasta bag or large cereal would not fit in the baggies, I had on hand, I thought,” What I’m I going to do here, waste them or keep them?” I did end up keeping them because I created my very 1st home made QuickSeals. I realized when I got back home from our family trip; I still had the cooking instructions with a few of the food item too. If I poured them into a baggie, I would have no longer had the cooking instructions or nutritional information.

Could you imagine my suitcase when I got home if I didn’t have a QuickSeal on top of my food products for the journey home….What a mess that would have been.

That’s when and where QuickSeals began.

We even now use QuickSeals on our games when pieces need to be sealed up. You will find them in our garage sealing up bags of nails, screw and potting soil.

You Name It QuickSeals Can Seal It….

How hard was it to get a prototype started and actually go into production with QuickSeals?

My first prototype was easy … It was made out of necessity on our trip.

However, months later while on my first trip to China to locate a QuickSeals manufacturer it became more challenging to produce. Needing to find the best manufacturer for QuickSeals was not simple. The manufacturer had to understand our company philosophy, produce the product and meet shipping requirements. The most important to us was quality and production control.

It has taken us three product revisions to finally have a product that we can market to our retailers/customers.

We all work together as a team, knowing the end result will benefit us all in the long run.

While at the plant in China speaking with the owner and the engineers about the tooling the QuickSeals machinery we needed to try to somehow put a fold in the QuickSeals to help make it easier for the customer to attach to their un-sealable products.

Did I ever in my life think I would be speaking about machinery and how to adjust the equipment to solve a production problem? NO, never, however, I never limited myself either. I worked with them as a team and together we found a perfect solution to our problem.

Women never should underestimate what they can do in any situation. It’s amazing how we can be so supportive and loving to our families and then when called upon we can also solve very difficult problems in any arena we’re in.

My example of this was the tooling for our current production line.

Never limit yourself.

Dream and know you can do anything.

How has being a mother affected your business decisions?

I work very hard at my business. I work crazy hours, early morning, late, late nights, Saturday, and Sundays … whenever the business needs me I’m there, however, Motherhood always comes first in my life and I never forgot that.

I’m always volunteering at my children’s school events. I play with them often when asked. I run a pretty organized home ship where our children know after school we have snack, homework, and then playtime. I try to get most of my work done when they are at school or sleeping so we can hang out together when they’re home.

I know my children are proud of me running my own business and they know if they ever, ever need me I will drop anything for them.

I think motherhood has taught me to sit back, enjoy life and not to always focus on work. Don’t get me wrong, I do work a lot; however, I take lots of time to enjoy just being with my family.

You mentioned in our email that as both a mother and business owner time is very important? How do you manage to balance both jobs?

As stated above, I have a pretty organized schedule when to work and when not to. When I’m with the children, I’m focused only on them. We play and I try to bring really fun memorable memories into their lives. We often sit back and say, “Remember when …” It’s wonderful to have these special times together. Life goes by so fast … all we will have at the end is memories.

What are your hopes for your product?

My hope for QuickSeals is simple; I would love for it to become super successful. With the rise in oil prices and everyone becoming more GREEN, I can see this happening for us soon.

For the environment, QuickSeals uses only a third of what a whole plastic bag would use. Can you imagine using that much less plastic in our environment over time? This would change the future for our children and children’s children.

Plastic bags are all produced from oil. So only having 1/3 the plastic is much cheaper to produce than a large Ziploc type of baggie. It’s always important to save for our future.

It’s all about saving now …. Money and Environment.

What else are you working on?

I’m always working a something … But for now, I must stay focused on the QuickSeals company so I can build it to the successful level needed to hopeful sell it to: Glad, Hefty or Ziploc.

I think it’s very important to remember when running a business. There are only so many hours in a day and you must stay focused on you current path. Don’t get your hands into to many things. This most often cuts your family and personal time fairly slim. And usually this creates non-production too.
From where do you get your inspiration?

My wonderful husband who’s always cheering me on, he believe in me and trusts me. He’s my true backbone and supporter. I can always count on him.

And, I guess really life experience where if see a need or a need to change and make something better. Keep it simple!!!!!

What advice do you have for other mothers who have dreams of creating and launching their own inventions or products?

Just do it … Never look back and always move forward. You will run into challenges, however believe in yourself and know you will work through them gracefully, smile laugh when it’s all over.

There is always a pot of gold at the end … it may not always be money. The learning experience is the most valuable pot of gold one can receive at the end.

Mothers should always keep in mind legal ramifications and much needed legal protections like patents and trademarks. In this area, there is a supper large pot of gold to learn from.

Visit her Web site to learn more about Quickseals.

Seal up all of your craft projects.

(Photo courtesy Denise Bein, Neese Products)

Denise with her family. They believe in having fun!

(Photo courtesy Denise Bein)

I’m taking a Master’s class about Executive Leadership and my assignment last week was to put together a presentation about an executive leader in the entertainment business. Lots of names came to mind, but I chose Paula Deen because she represents what I call an “overnight entrepreneur.” And, she’s a mom.

Paula Deen is an original mompreneuer. She’s enjoying success today because of a lot of hard work in order to take care of her sons. Here’s why Paula is an inspiration to women and moms.

• Devastation Leads to Action
  After 20 years of marriage, Paula Deen was faced with a devastating divorce, and the need to find a way to make a living to support her two young sons and teenage brother. All she’d know to this point in her life is how to cook and care for people, but she needed skills — and fast. Money was tight; she only had $200 and no business skills. This didn’t stop Paula from digging down deep to survive with the only thing she knew; cooking. (source: Paula’s Story.)
• Overcoming Obstacles
  She had no money, no formal education, and a disease that kept her indoors. (source: Paula’s Story.) A New York Times article quotes Paula on her agoraphobia:

  Some days I could get to the supermarket, but I could never go too far inside,” Ms. Deen said. “I learned to cook with the ingredients they kept close to the door.”

• Believing In Herself
  Paula believed in herself and self-published her first cookbook. Since that time she has had multiple cookbooks published along with a new memoir and is the Editor-in-Chief of a magazine.
• Taking the Good With the Bad
• Take Control of Your Life
• Do What You Love

Paula sums it up great on her Web site:

But, you know what, none of this would have happened if I hadn’t of taken the good with the bad, embraced both the heartache and joy, and taken control of my life when I thought it could not have gotten worse.”

Related:

• PaulaDeen.com
• NY Times article about Deen.
• Cooking With Paula Deen magazine.
• Top 5 recipes from Paula’s magazine.
• Paula’s The Lady and Son’s restaurant.
• Paula on Food Network.

“Good Morning America’s” workplace contributor Tory Johnson is also CEO of Women for Hire, a network for women. Over the last couple of years I’ve seen Women for Hire expand, its Web site improve and now it even offers a free magazine.

Tory is chock full of advice for all types of working women: moms, older women, work from home moms, moms who’ve been out of the biz for a while … you name it. Tory has advice for every situation. She’s been there too …

From her Web site:

Women For Hire founded in a small corner of CEO Tory Johnson’s New York City apartment, where she’d spend her days (and nights) researching and cold-calling employers—with toddler twins in tow—to convince them to participate in her career expo.”

I got my first issue of the magazine this week and it’s pretty good. I learned that WFH has a facebook group that I can join and it’s full of stories about women who’ve figured things out when it comes to their jobs.

Check out the Web site, womenforhire.com and see for yourself.

Related:

• Subscribe to “Women for Hire” magazine for free
• Read Balancing Motherhood’s post about GMA’s series on helping people work from home.