A couple of weeks ago I saw an excellent segment on “Good Morning America” where they talked about our emotional bank accounts. The segment was about the state of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage, but is relevant to every busy parent. You know the feeling — you are drained and feel like you can’t take one more thing being thrown at you.
Nothing Left To Give
As a mom with a newborn and a pre-schooler, there are days when I have nothing left to give. I put my hands up to say, “I’m done,” hand the baby to my husband and go take a shower. I should go sit on the porch with a glass of Chianti, but I still need to multi-task (maybe next time I’ll take the wine into the shower with me). In the shower, I can relax, it’s peaceful to listen to the sound of the water. I dim the lights and put on a candle or some insence. Total sensory immersion going on here. It’s my quiet time. My time to regroup, to relax and get ready for whatever comes next.
I think that any parent will tell you that if you don’t make what I call deposits in our own emotional bank account, you have nothing to draw down on,” said “Good Morning America” parenting contributor Anne Pleshette Murphy.”
Make Time For MomÂ
We all need to take the time to put chips into our account. Some moms do this with mom’s nights out. Others by watching TV or doing a hobby, but life too often gets in the way and we don’t take care of ourselves. We skip mom’s night out because we don’t want to be away from the children that we have missed all day because we were at work, or we skip the overnight trip with the girls because we think Dad can’t survive a weekend alone with the kids. We cancel the pedicure appointment out of guilt for spending money on ourselves because your son needs to take karate this summer.
All very real scenarios, and there are a hundred others that we tell ourselves. But, we need to find something do to that reinstates our energy and emotional well being so that we always have enough credits in our emotional bank to give something without goingÂ into deficit.